The Joys of Motherhood

Being a mother is joyful and hard work. Its one of my greatest accomplishments out of life. What motherhood taught me was strength, courage, and wisdom. Hey that’s the title of one India Arie’s song (love her music!!!).

Strength in motherhood is the birth or bringing the child into the world that is unsheltered, big and cold. As a mother we have to be strong and steadfast in our faith or beliefs whatever it is to protect our children from the hidden dangers that the world behold. Motherhood definitely has made me strong and has given me the strength to protect my children at any cost.

Courage in motherhood means making the common mistakes in being a parent and allowing yourself to learn from those mistakes. As a mother we only learn what we were taught. But what if what we learned growing up is not something you want to practice as a mother? It’s okay to change your parental style and customize it to your satisfaction. Accepting and embracing change is courageous in motherhood.

Wisdom in motherhood is passing on your experience through the mistakes and achievements made as being a mother. It’s okay to show and tell your children that being a mom is not always perfect and we don’t always have the answer but we will have the answer before bedtime. (smile) Pass along the knowledge of what you learned being a mother.

For me, when my children are sleeping and I am winding down for the night, I look at them reminiscing on their births. With my oldest (my son), I was going on 19 and was so nervous. It was so funny during the labor process (I promise I will write about it). When it was over, my mom asked me will I do it all over again, I told her “yes.” Now fast forward 13 years later, I had a little girl. My mom asked me again will I do it again, I told her “heck no I am DONE!” I love my babies but the age difference took a major toll on me lol. But I love being a mother and I will still have them both again just not adding any more children into the family, too old. (ha ha ha) This is one of my joyful moments of motherhood.



I really don’t have a clear thought but I am feeling a flood of mixed emotions. I am happy because I was able to accomplish so much today. I am attentive because I didn’t have any distractions from mini me (she took a nap and now is out for a walk with grandpa). But I got so lost that I didn’t blog today and I am pretty bummed by it. I want to keep this momentum going and not fall behind. So I am here just to say a few words and feel complete for the day!!!

The Gift

It is dark! I am alone in my thoughts. Nothing depressing just random ideas passing by. I can’t make out what all these thoughts mean or how to interpret these thoughts but I need to get it together. I am struggling to gather and collect things. I see this one particular thought in my mind that has my mind racing, the thought of what road to take in my life. I have to admit, when I was younger, I had no clue what I wanted to do so I made some “questionable changes” in my life and pretty much wasted so much time. Now that I am older, I am on the same boat of uncertainty. I really need to figure this ish out….

As I turned over to change the thoughts of uncertainty, my eyes open! I am blessed to see a new day and have another chance to figure out where I am going in life. I didn’t drop everything for nothing to pursue my passion! I have a purpose! I just need to let today lead the way and pray that I live to see tomorrow so I can see the path I am destined to follow. This is my gift!

I Love Me Some Me!


I went through a rough path in my life where I didn’t love myself. The love I was seeking was nonexistent because I didn’t love myself first and foremost. It all started when I was in high school. I had very low self-esteem but I hid it very well. I will encourage my friends and showed them all the attention to deflect what I lacked for myself. I didn’t see this as an issue until I fell in love for the first time or so I thought.

My high school boyfriend became the love of my life, my first heart ache, first time every having a child with, and dealing with death all at once. Allow me to explain. I fell in love with him at first sight! I saw him from across the room and felt an emotion I never ever felt before so I believed it was love! He loved me ever so much. This I knew for a fact because we were inseparable. He was two grades ahead of me but after he graduated, he made it his duty to pick me up from school and take me home. Our dates was amazing and he never let me miss curfew ever! There was one problem: he was an addict! I never saw any signs or symptoms of this fact until I got pregnant.

When we found out we were expecting we were happy and excited! He even proposed to me! Our family was a bit shocked or upset but he had a great job and I was an honor student on the National Honors Society. To fast forward to my third trimester, we got into a huge fight. He was drunk and I was living with him at the time and threatened to leave him and move back home. He threatened me back by saying he will harm himself if I left. I was pretty much use to him stating that because he always did when we fought. However this time it was different. He told me the manner he was going to do it. He proceeded to pull out drug paraphernalia and for the first time I felt portrayed and hurt.

I was so angry that I tried to take them away from him when he hit me. When he hit me, I lost all level headedness and started fighting him. Yes I was pregnant and my due date was rapidly approaching but I was in danger and so was my unborn child. I had to fight to stay alive for the both of us. Fast forward again, I pressed charges and during his third week of incarceration, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. At this moment every wall I build up came crashing down because I had a precious life to love and that will always love me so I had to get it together and start changing me!

For the first year of my son’s life, I developed a new-found love for myself. I got to know me on a level that showed how courageous I was and how strong I was for going through everything I went through and lived to fight another day! I am a survivor and victorious! My ex at this time was looking at parole soon and with my new-found love myself, I learned to forgive. I forgave him but I was still mad at him. When he came out, he decided to leave the state to get his life together to be a better father to our son. Everything was going good until a month after our son’s 2nd birthday.

When our son turned two, he was around and we celebrated his 2nd birthday together as a family. (Note: while he was away in another state, he had a good job and was paying child support for our son and was an active father from a distance.) I received a call from my son’s father mom that he (my ex) was dead! She had to ID his body at the county morgue. All the love I had built up crumbled like rubble. I lost so much love for myself and for others because the only person that I ever loved and shared a child with is gone forever. I fell into such a deep depression that it took me years to get over and love again.

As you can see, I was in and out of love with myself. For years after his death, I felt like my love died with him but then looking into our son’s eyes, I knew I could not lose the love I have for myself because if I did, I would be losing my son. That was something I would never do! Somehow, someway I pulled myself together and began saying positive affirmations to myself and it has been working! Fast forward again for the very last time, I promise, it has been almost 12 years later since he died and I am still madly in love with myself more than I ever been before. I also have loved again, got engaged, and have another child, a daughter who constantly reminds me of my strengths for overcoming my obstacles throughout my life! If I can survive teen pregnancy, physical abuse, and the death of someone I love, then I can survive anything and still love me!

Never Give Up! Keep on Pushing…

Have you ever felt like giving up on a goal or dream? Have you ever felt defeated or that you couldn’t move forward in life because you haven’t accomplished your goal or dream? Well I have felt this way one time or another in my life and I am here to say that I overcame this fear or ordeal and so can you! There are five little rules that I follow every single day to overcome my shortcomings.

The first rule to remember is that there is no clear path in life for you to follow. Life always will have bumps in the roads and even road blocks. You must seek other routes and be prepared for detours. I have personally experienced this and here is how I overcame it: don’t give up and ask for help when needed! I am very private and very rarely will disclose to anyone especially family that I need help. If I am struggling, I will just continue to struggle and break down silently when no one is around. This is a HUGE mistake! When I did this, I became so depressed that I wanted to end everything and just run away. I just couldn’t deal until the little voice inside me said, “ask for help.” Those simple three words saved my life and helped me deal with my depression.

The second rule is it is okay when you ask for help and someone says, “NO.” This word is enough to drive you crazy especially when you are in need of help and someone just flat-out say “NO.” This was a crucial reason why I refused to ask for help because I despise being turned down. It is the most demoralizing feeling when someone shuts you down especially without any explanation or reason behind it. But you have to believe in your soul that for every “NO” there is a “YES“! It is so true! Look at your life and everything you have accomplished. For every “NO” that was said to you, that “YES” has brought you through.

The third rule is to have faith when the word “NO” is used and believe that a “YES” will pull you through. Now that I have got accustomed to hearing “NO“, my faith in a higher power takes over and I started seeking for an answer. For every answer that I was seeking, I received affirmations of “YES” I can do it and if I ask someone for help and they say “NO” then I will ask someone else until I get a “YES.” It is that simple! Someone will eventually say “YES” and when they do, it is a breath of fresh air because you no longer have to suffer alone!

The fourth rule is taking the “YES” and applying it, utilize, and reclaim. Once someone eventually help me, I take what they gave to me and apply it to my need. When my need was satisfied, I reclaim my independence! I can now go forward in life with my head high and embrace those hurdles and detours that has blocked my path. You too can do the same.

The fifth and final rule is to “NEVER GIVE UP! KEEP ON PUSHING…” No explanation necessary!

Memories of Granddaddy

Just thinking about his memory makes me want to cry…

One of my deepest pain that I am still not over because it hurt the deepest was when my granddaddy died. My granddaddy was my everything. He always knew what to say to make me smile and could cook the best “buttah” beans of the South. My granddaddy was a man of few words and could curse you out so bad that you wish you never pissed him off. He never liked taking pictures nor ever smiled in them. He was well over 6 feet tall and he always wore khaki pants and a white t-shirt. His hair was thick like a lion’s mane with a bald spot in middle. He had a beard that he always kept well-groomed. His complexion was that of milk chocolate with eyes that could pierce your soul!

My earliest memory was when I was younger and learning how to braid. I was practicing on my doll’s hair but it never seemed to come out right. So one day, I saw him combing his hair and I asked him if I could comb his hair. He allowed me to and it was all over! Needless to say, I have not only combed his hair, but I also put pony tails in his hair and I braided his hair. Then I told him to wear the braids for the day. He did, although his hair didn’t stay that way for long. It began to unravel but he wore his style proudly!

Another memory was when in I was in middle school. My cousin and I ran home to drop off our book bags so we can head to the Boys and Girls Club. I had to go to the bathroom really bad! We were banging on the door and yelling for granddaddy to open the door and we could hear him yell he was coming but most importantly we heard his slippers. Those slippers! They made a swishing sound that is so distinguished that you can hear it a mile away. I was doing the “I gotta go to the bathroom potty dance” on the porch while my cousin tried to find another way into the house to open the door. Long story short, I made it to the bathroom just in time!

These stories are just a few of many memories I have about my granddaddy. Just writing about these two alone is inspiring me to talk more about him. Talking about him is therapeutic to me because I try to block these memories out into existence so I won’t be sad or cry. I know how is in a better place and not suffering anymore but the memories of him gone forever are painful but it does put a smile on my face thinking about him. I miss you granddaddy and love you so much.

Thoughts of Yesterday….

When I think of yesterday, it becomes bittersweet. My yesterday can range from literally yesterday to yesteryear. Some yesterdays I block out because it be too painful or something I wish to forget about and move forward. I have a hard time trying to get over my yesterdays and move forward which causes me to stumble and fall. I have such a hard time moving ahead and letting go!

I try to let go in every way possible and the only way for me to really get over is if I #hashtag a song with something or an emotion I am going through (#yesterdaybyMaryMary). This song is so powerful and true to me especially the part when Erica of Mary Mary sang,

I decided that I cried my last tears yesterday….

Boy when she hits that high note, it sends chills up and down my spine because I can feel the power in song. I need to let things go and cry my last tears and leave it in yesterday! The message in crying your last tears resonate so much truth and uplifting emotions because we all are going to cry but after crying is laughter. Laughter solves everything and even though life has some pain and misfortune, there are some goodness that can come out of life the moment you let go of yesterday. I can testify to that and today, I am smiling and so happy and free because I let go of yesterday.

An Ode to Naturalcentric Me

What Naturalcentric Means to Me

Never giving up on my inspirations

At no cost will I ever settle or compromise my goals

Take all risk and have no regrets

Unless God tells me to stop, I won’t

Really want to be successful in my career

And always work hard

Loving myself and knowing my capabilities

Coming into myself and coming out of my shadow

Even if its hard to do I am going to do it

Need to always keep pushing myself

To accept my flaws as overcoming an accomplishment

Remember how far I came through

Indeed but never forgetting how I got to where I am

Currently staying true to myself and always being real to….


Questionable Changes

I have no regrets in life of any decisions that I have made… There are some decisions that I will coin “questionable changes.” Questionable changes to me is when you had many options to choose from but are not sure if the option you chose was the best at the time you picked it. I have had many situations where I made “questionable changes.” One of my most “questionable change” was quitting my job and trying to be an entrepreneur of some sort. To this day I am still tweaking what I want to do because I am really good at my crafts. I guess I don’t know where to begin.

When I became pregnant the second time around, I knew instantaneously that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I didn’t have the chance to do this with my first-born because I was a teen mom and wanted to go to college and be independent (this story is a whole other blog post that will be published later on, I promise). So when my daughter came, her dad and I decided that I will not be returning to work but I will be working for myself, somehow, someway. This was one big “questionable change.”

I have always been a worker, a dedicated hard worker for my paycheck. I lived to work for someone and show them my talents and work myself to the bone but never complained about my workload. It wasn’t until a year ago I began to feel that I needed a change but didn’t know what that change was. From being an employee to becoming self-employed was another “questionable change” for me because I didn’t plan it so to speak but I knew in my heart I wanted to give it a try. Boy was this hard!

Becoming self-employed is a phenomenon that takes planning, time, and dedication. I rushed into things and now I am at a crucial point that if I do not begin making some kind of money soon, I might have to go back to work. My goal is to be a stay at home mom that is self-employed, but I need guidance on what should I do or where do I begin. I have skills that I can market and make good money from it but I don’t know how to get started. I have plenty of support and have been reading motivation starter books but I need to turn all of these thoughts into a reality. To be honest I am scared!

There I said it! I am finally breaking down and telling the whole world the truth. I am scared! Scared of failing, scared of not being successful and not falling on employers to have my back and most importantly, I am putting myself out there. I am the quiet type and always in the background. My voice was always muted and I always hid behind my work. Guess what? I found my voice and I want to be heard! This is the main reason why I am putting myself out there. I am and will be successful and I will put myself out there to be judged and criticized but the difference is I have a voice and I will speak up for myself and listen but be heard! Those shy day are long gone!

Sit back world and enjoy the ride…

Hello world!

Welcome to Naturalcentric Me Personal Blog Page!!!! I am so excited because I have never did a blog before. I have so much to say and I am glad to have a platform to share and maybe help or inspire someone. There will be some funny blogs as well as some serious ones but overall, my blog will be a good read (I hope). I was inspired to do this blog after I had my second child. I am a stay at home mom and left my job to raise her. Since I been home, I have been happy for the most part but bored as hell out of my mind! Then I started writing in a journal about my thoughts and just randomness that I can’t even put in categories. It was then I realized that I love writing and I really need to just put out my thoughts because someone might can use the message I am letting out.

These thoughts are my inner truths and through my experience. I am in no way an expert in anything but myself. I know my likes and desires and someone might have the same ideologies as me. I hope you enjoy my very first blog post and please feel free to comment.

Thanks and welcome!!!!


Naturalcentric Me